When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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