If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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