yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
