wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
