If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
pray to the hookup gods
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
