The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
