Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
