you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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