arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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