Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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