i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
