wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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