I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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