I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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