This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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