Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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