Already got asked if we're dating
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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