My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
