You just made me feel so damn special
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There r osticjed everywhere
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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