wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize