So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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