i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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