The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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