Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
