I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
