how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
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we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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