Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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