every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
