Nicole vs. Life
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
