Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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