Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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