And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Alive.
So much puke
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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