Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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