I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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