WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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