We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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