wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
