my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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