Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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