He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
