She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Drunk is not a location!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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