I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
