nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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