Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
