today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
