Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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