do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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