we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
