We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
