Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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