her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
