I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
