do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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