i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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