Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
