the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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