That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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