how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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