I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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