Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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