you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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