you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
