actually, I'm a sock model
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
