3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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