I can text with my tongue
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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