i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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