she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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