Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize