If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
