Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
